Hot Yoga

So, as I posted on facebook today, it was recommended to me that I try ‘hot yoga’ in ’09 as something I should definitely try, at which time I thought to myself, ‘I wonder if there is ugly yoga’. I now know the answer. The answer is yes. I know because I did ugly yoga today. Other people in the room did lovely yoga, even beautiful yoga. I however, did not.

I will say I found the yoga instructor to be quite amusing. She was a petite Asian woman named Moon. Her accent was as thick as butterscotch pudding but had an adorable air about it. It made me smile. She referred to the poses downward dog and the warrior pose as ‘downward doggie’ and ‘sexy warrior’ pose. When instructing us on the various levels at which we could choose to perform such poses, she used pizza ingredients as descriptors. As in, if you’re feeling spicy put some jalapeños on it and do this. If you’re feeling even more happy, have some anchovies and cheese. If you’re lactose intolerant, just have anchovies.

She kept encouraging us to do what made us happy. She had us ‘work on the junk in our trunk’ and said we’d feel the hard work and thank her later. Well, I’m already feeling all that hard work and I don’t think I’ll be thanking her tonight at least. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either. Maybe by the time Wednesday’s class rolls around but until then I may be secretly cursing her name with each painful step I take walking the 10-15 blocks from where I park my car to where I work.

Maybe someday I’ll do hot yoga. My friend says it’s awesome. I can’t wait until I get good enough to be doing hot yoga. Until then, I guess it’s only ugly yoga for me.